Cancer is the verdict


The pathology report came back and my precious boy has Cancer and it is very aggressive. I created a new campaign “Lakota’s Cancer Fund” to help us through this devastating and painful journey we now find ourselves on.  I am heartbroken and absolutely gutted.

Read more on Lakota’s journey on his GoFundMe link below where you can see the pathology report and follow  updates on how he is doing throughout his journey. 

We also deeply appreciate all Sharing, Prayers, Love and Donations that will help ease the journey in this chapter of Lakota’s life.

Lakota’s Cancer Fund

My precious Lakota.

LakotaCOllage2Resize Image

Blessings from our paws to yours ❤


Please help Lakota my service dog & best friend <3

Lakota’s Emergency Surgery Fund

Lakota is my Service Dog and is literally my lifeline.  He works to help me thru Depression, PTSD and anxiety.  Lakota has been with me since December 2005 when he was just 8 weeks old. Anyone that has met Lakota knows what a gentle, loving spirit he has and he loves everyone and just how much he does for me.  I would be lost without him…

Lakota is now very sick and I am reaching out for assistance for my best friend.  Two weeks ago I took him to the PAWS Clinic for his annual Rabies booster and check a rectal mass that appeared.

I am reaching out to all of you for help for my precious Lakota.
for the funds needed ASAP to help cover surgery and recovery.  I am documenting everything including taking photos for the vet and can share those privately for anyone wants to see before helping out.All funds donated will be utilized on Lakota’s emergency care,  biopsy surgery,  recovery and follow up care.  In turn, after Lakota is taken care of I will be able to help others.

All donations no matter the amount helps, and is deeply deeply appreciated. Please help Lakota, my Service Dog and my best friend get well so he can be 100% again. Please help me show Lakota love in return for all he does for me. He still has many good years and abundance of love to give…

Thank You So Much from the center of my heart.  I will post regular updates on our GoFundMe page as they happen.

Help spread the word!


Back from vacay

I know it has been ages since I have been here friends and readers. I apologize for my absence. Much has been happening in my life this past year and I have barely had time to breathe. I was on an unplanned extended hiatus that kept me extremely busy with more than I could imagine. So much for self care right?

I have repeatedly attempted to journal daily and even weekly. Repeatedly I have been successful at failing to do so. I make no promises to post bi-weekly or monthly. I can only promise that I will work harder to do better in writing here more regularly from this day forward.

Thank you for not leaving me while I was “away” on vacation.

Wishing all of you a most blessed and safe weekend!


International Abductions

Dear friends, as many of you know, the issue of missing children is a topic that is very close to my heart, one that I have personal experience with.  I know the panic that races through a mother’s head and heart when her child goes missing. There are so many ways a child can go missing. They can wander off, they can be abducted by a family member or other relative, abducted by a stranger or they can run away. A child missing no matter how it happens is truly frightening.  A parent;s worst nightmare.  Many of the children who go missing are abducted, some are found safe, others are not so fortunate and others are abducted by a family member internationally.  Although my son was not abducted he did wander off and it was my worst nightmare come true. It can happen to anyone. I have friends who have are experiencing this horrible nightmare and fighting tirelessly for their children. I have fellow advocates working with them and with lawmakers to enact laws to prevent this from happening.

I am asking each of you to take two seconds to vote for my friend Jen, who oversees the I CARE Foundation’s social media outreach geared to raise awareness of abduction issues. As a top parent blogger, Jen’s and the I CARE Foundation’s work in this area has helped a tremendous number of families around the world.  Here’s the link:  You can vote daily for the next week until the contest is over.

“In her work with the I CARE Foundation, Jen has played a critical role in stewarding child abduction issues. In this capacity, she has played a key and influencial role in having the US abduction rate drop by 26% these past 2 years with an expected 30% decline in 2013.” Peter Thomas Senese

After you vote would you please share this information along with your friends and ask them to do the same? We need to reach everyone we can.  Each vote will help the I CARE Foundation create greater awareness and help protect more children who are at rick for being abducted.

Love and Blessings to all


Bullying is Not a rite of passage

What is bullying?

Bullying is unwanted, repeated aggressive behavior among school age children. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose and so much more.

There have been too many physical attacks by children against children in our schools with no one doing a blessed thing to stop it! It is not a rite of passage. It is not “boys will be boys” or girls for that matter. Kids are beating the bloody crap out of each other repeatedly and many to the point where the one being bullied takes their own life because they cannot take it anymore, because the schools refuse to do a damn thing other than sweep it under the rug, excuse the behavior, wave it off….I was one of those kids who came close to committing suicide because I saw that as the only way to make it stop…to make it all stop.

Bullying also happens in families with siblings as well and it is not just sibling rivalry. It is downright bullying.

I was bullied relentlessly throughout middle and high school.  In middle school I had my books smacked from out of my arms going down the hallway, was pounded in the back so hard it literally took my breath away walking from one class to another.  I did go to the office and tell them I was being bullied and they did nothing about it. I was hurt, shocked and could not understand why they did not care and why they did nothing about it.  In one class there were a couple of boys who took joy in putting a dead bee and some other bug in my hair.  The teacher was walking around the classroom as he taught the lesson and had to notice this going on but he never said anything. In high school I was cornered in the girls bathroom by a trio of girls who proceeded to taunt me with words as they blew smoke from their cigarettes in my face.  In my culinary arts class shop I was shoved into the walk in freezer and locked in. I did not know that I could defend myself back then nor did I even know how… I wondered if anyone cared because no one ever took a step forward to make them stop.

The statistics on bullying and suicide are more than alarming. They should be a wake up call to parents and schools alike across the globe.

Did you know?

Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year

Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.

Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75 percent of school-shooting incidents.

If you see someone getting bullied do something, say something, but don’t just stand by silently or walk away.

Read this heartbreaking story from one mother whose son barely escaped serious medical damage and is speaking out.  

“My name is Kelly Wheeler and I live in Demorest GA. My 15 yr old son is an honor student, 2nd year ROTC and became a member of the Varsity Wrestling Team as a Freshman. That’s when it began for him, his so called “friends.” Like most parents we were unaware of the situation for months. I suppose it began as “boys will be boys” behavior. Then it progressed from name calling to throwing basketballs, ect at him. then to “weggies” resulting in torn underwear. Destruction of his property, then to physical assault. My son was held and kick numerous times in his groin. He was bruised for several days, yet mentioned this to no one. Finally… thankfully… he reached his breaking point. When he finally had to let it out…. I was unprepared for the devestation that was looking back at me. I have never seen such pain in the face of anyone. That was no face of a stranger, it was my own son. At 140lbs & 5’10 he crawled into my lap as he began revealing the…”



Innocent benefactor

She remembers the old red barn just a few houses up the road. She recalls with clarity every detail surrounding the incomprehensible horror that transpired decades ago and wishes she could consign it to oblivion. She remembers the two girls who sat back cheering and laughing as that group of boys brought this terrified girl to the barn floor with fright and tears in her eyes. Why? What? NO!!!   Her eyes screamed, pleading for help searching the sidelines where those two girls sat watching and laughing.  She could not understand Why they brought her here to allow this to happen and Why they would not help her.

In flashbacks she recalls the hands, many hands as they began touching her, grabbing her female flesh everywhere…Their dirty grinning faces laughing as they took her in turn…her silent screams fell onto deafened ears and no one came to her rescue.  A waterfall of tears streaming down her cheeks mattered not to the hands making their way under her shirt and down her jeans as they swarmed around her like bees to a hive full of honey.

She was fourteen years old then but not a foreigner to abuse as her own father had been making night visits for many years. She knew nothing of boundaries, no healthy love from him.  He was that “monster in the closet” and all she ever longed for was his love…

Commencing with him, then the associates, the undeniable terrors began…Her body was supposed to belong to her but it seemed to belong to everyone else.  He along with the associates,  taught her that her feelings did not matter, what she desired did not matter and when she said No – it did not matter…

Growing up was hell, more like torture. Everywhere she turned boys wanted to touch her, put their hands on her in in appropriate ways, and they did, often.  Did they not know how very wrong this was? She would be the benefactor of their consequences, the innocent one who would remember in nightmares and flashbacks with crystal clarity the sheer terror of her youth.  A nightmare relived nearly every single night for decades.

Decades would pass before she would ever understand that none of this was her fault. She walked through life with no self-esteem for she was told she was ugly, called names because this flower blossomed very early as a young woman and for reasons only those who bullied her knew …

It would take decades for her to learn how beautiful and valued she was…and to find forgiveness, which was a monumental feat in itself for she swore to hate them all for eternity….it was in the Forgiveness of them all that she has discovered the way to Freedom~


Who Am I?

The essay below was one of three I wrote for my English Comp class in the mid 1990’s and written within the parameters given to us for the course. Keep in mind how much time has passed and the statistics that have changed since then. 

Who Am I?

The lingering aftermath that incest has on the adult female survivor encompasses all facets of her existence. How is incest defined and what are the distortions impressed upon the survivor regarding the issues of intimacy and sexuality? How can these warped perceptions be conquered?

Incest has been described as a cancer of the soul that slowly destroys the victim’s self esteem. Incest is a betrayal of trust involving sexual, verbal or physical actions either directly or indirectly between a child and a trusted adult and/or authority figure. Fondling, exhibitionism and masturbation with or in front of the child are but a few examples of this treachery. This leaves the victim with little or no self esteem.

Statistics are shocking; one out of every three females and one of every five males has been abused as a child. The effects are no less destructive on males yet I have chosen to write from a female perspective.

Sexual abuse unconsciously influences how a survivor perceives herself and how she feels regarding all aspects of sex including; natural sexual feelings, sexual expression, roles, intimacy and sexual preference. There is tremendous difficulty in separating abusive sex from healthy sex. As a result of the abuse, the survivor sees herself as damaged goods and suffers from a poor sexual self-concept. Sexual preference itself is not a negative affect of the abuse to be overcome. It’s the confusion about preference having been complicated by the abuse that can be troublesome.

Sexual Behavior

Abuse shatters our capacity for healthy sex. Sexual expression may now be associated with secrecy and shame. Many survivors withdraw from sex, thereby preventing any fresh discovery of healthy sex. Others may become promiscous. Not knowing any physical boundaries in sex has created confusion on when or even how to be sexual and she may engage in risky behavior and have sex even when she really does not want to. Difficulty in saying no to unwanted touch, the survivor may avoid any situation that could lead to sex.

Intimate Relationships

Abuse influences a survivor’s capacity to establish and maintain healthy sexual relationships which also interferes with her ability to make healthy choices for herself. Survivors are unable to trust and feel safe with intimate partners who do care.


Abuse is something that is done to us. It is not who we are. (Euan Bear and Peter Dimok, authors of Adults Molested as Children) Sexual abuse can cause many survivors to question their orientation (preference). They may wonder the sexual abuse determines their present orientation. Sexual abuse harms the way we feel about our attractiveness, leaving us to feel negative about our gender or causing increased confusion about our sexual orientation (lesbian,gay,straight or bi-sexual). The issue of sexual orientation can be confusing enough for many people who have no history of abuse. Try, to imagine what a survivor must think, or how confused she feels.


Gender identity and sexual orientation are complex matters even without sexual abuse in the picture. They can be strongly influenced by any number of factors. Biology, upbringing, sexual experiences and cultural influences are only a sampling of those factors. Abuse can both encourage development of a particular orientation and impede another. Some survivors move towards the role they had to play in the abuse and others move far away.

If you are a survivor who questions her own sexual orientation remember, All your feelings are valid. They are yours and no person can tell you how to feel or what to think. Our acceptance of selves, not what others think is all that really matters. The following is a perfect way to end this paper and I hope you have been enlightened.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to tell one from the other.” (anonymous)